Procrastination

So, I created this blog recently, my first actual blogging experience [insert lame cherry-popping joke here], in an effort to distract myself from my current state of complete and utter boredom. As such, I expect that no one will ever end up reading this.... except perhaps my mother, who can be overly supportive sometimes (in a "Wow, honey, I've never seen anyone cut their steak so uniformly before!" kind of way).

Many things have led to my boredom, most of which are directly related to me losing my job. I sleep in til noon, mainly just to waste the day, and spend most of the afternoon perched on my couch watching bad tv with cheap chinese delivery spilled down my hanes undershirt. It's quite a lovely sight.... and I wonder why I'm single. Daily, I try to come up with other activities I could participate in to keep my mind occupied: read the book I just bought, excercise, go to the movies/art museum/natural history museum, go to the park and network with the hobos... you never know when you'll be evicted and relying on that bench-connection . But I usually end up still stuck on the sofa either out of laziness or insufficient funds. One of my "friends" recently warned me that sitting around all day can actually cause your ass to "spread." It's hard enough to keep from gaining weight when I'm living a pretty sedentary lifestyle and nibbling all day, now I'm terrified that I'm going to end up with a giant flat butt and be forced to buy Lee brand "mom jeans" circa 1992 from Cosco.

The job hunt is not going well, for me or for a number of friends in the same situation. Practically no one's hiring and those that are have their pick of a thousand applicants for each job opening. I've had 6 job interviews at the same company for the same job. I should note that this is a very junior position! I am not applying to be the VP of a multi-national corporation (which will inevitably ask for a trillion dollar bail out in approx 2.5 months). 6 interviews seem a slightly excessive for a job that is practically entry-level.

I think there has got to be a way to make the hiring process more efficient to pick a suitable candidate.... some suggestions include:

Snowball fight
Drinking contest, last man standing wins
Pistols at high noon, last man living wins (hire trained whistler for sound effects)
Remember those phone booth money-grabber things they used to have at rollerskating rinks?... what if we threw all the resumes in there, turned the air on, and a HR rep grabs for one at random

It's getting to be a dog-eat-dog world out there. I am announcing right now to all hiring managers that I am fully prepared to eat a dog if it will get me a job. Fuck, if it will get me off my couch and out of those undershirts, I'll eat an entire iditarod dog sledding team. But then again, with all the super-cheap, crappy chinese food I've been eating... I probably already have.